Welcome To Crazy Town

I do not count this as a post,

I simply needed a place to store an idea. I doubt it will ever be seen by the ones I want it to be seen by. But I post it not as an attempt to reach them, but rather a general utterance. So if you happen to see this, I’m sorry I did not wish to offend. It is an explaination of multiple things. They aren’t explicitly stated here but to those who know what to look for everything will be revealed……

Pauline is probably the sweetest person I’ve ever met in my entire life. She always knew when to be goofy and when to be serious and she could always make me smile no matter how bad things got. She is spontaneous and we could talk about anything for hours at a time about nothing. She never took anything too seriously and was very laid back.
We shared running. We used to go out together on runs that would go for several miles, exploring every place we could.
I met her randomly one day, I always liked telling that story. At the beginning of my junior year before school had started, we were having summer cross country practice.
The person running our practice (Lisa, who lives in SF and goes here and I have known her for forever) had to go off somewhere that day so I was in charge. I decided we needed a vacation and we should all go to great america. That day we were all ready to go when a green car pulls up and out jumps a red headed girl wearing a blue hat, white shirt, and black shorts. She comes out to me over on the track (I was making sure nothing was taken out) and asks if this was Cross Country. I told her this exactly, “Um yeah it is, but you picked a really bad day cause we are all leaving to great america right now. Soooo bye……”
And I just kinda left.
That was the first time I had actually spoken to her and that’s the story we would always tell about how we met. How I ditched her for and amusement park and we would laugh about it. In reality we had met several months earlier. In my sophomore year I missed school one day because I was waiting for the cable guy. I decided to go to the britton middle school track practice and play tag with them. She remembered me as the crazy high school that made them play games and I remember her as the crazy little red head who was a pain in the butt to catch.

Being with her, made me feel like I had no troubles or worries. The world felt perfect somehow. I was so in love with her.

The title of this post is based off the song, “Swing, swing” by the All-American Rejects. There are a lot of memories connected to the song, can anyone tell me why or what they are? Or the reason I never play it on my itunes or sing it out loud? If you could answer any of those questions congratulations, you know me better than 90% of my friends. You see very few people actually know me, the real me. The psychotic, neurotic one that pathologically lies to get what he needs or wants. I make up stories, ideologies, philosophies, even attitudes toward certain things depending on who I’m with or if I care about their feelings. I am very rarely myself, even among people I consider to be good friends. I think it was Rebecca Devillez that put it best, “If Armando is loud and hyper everything is good but if he’s quiet, you should be very careful”. Who knows my life? Who knows me best? Who knows me at all? That is my question to all of you.

I have to apologize for the recent randomness in my blog posts. With finals coming up soon I’ve had very little time to properly write anything. I hope all my readers (all ten of you haha), will be understanding in the matter. After finals pass I shall start posting a lot more interesting things than plain old text blogs.

Sorry again and help spread the word please!

If you found this by now, you should know me. If not, then hello my name is Armando. I used to go to Live Oak high school in a place called Morgan Hill (or as Spain called it, Morgan’s Gulch). Nothing ever happened in this town. It was always me or my sister who stirred things up. But whenever we did we were frowned upon by the old timey conservatives that ran the town. Now I know they were trying to make things for the best but look at what they did, through their constant control and their want of a true “small town america”, they have caused the dysfunctional ways of nearly everyone under the age of 30. Meth houses liter the area, children are dealing drugs and joining cults as young as the age of 8, kids who do graduate, never go anywhere. They simply default to Gav, the nearest community college. With so many people just lazing around and so many rules that basically go against them, what would you think would happen? Did you think that honestly things would go smoothly? I know live in San Francisco, attending San Francisco State University. Here in a place where I know no one and am surrounded by strangers I truly feel at home and at peace (or well when I’m not stressing about homework). I am random, like to rant, and the poems in my blog basically detail my thoughts on everything. Nothing is sacred to me, nothing is out of my reach for a joke, comment, or reference. I don’t classify myself as a rebel, I’m just myself. Not trying to be different, not trying to blend in, just trying to live my life day by day. So as the Doctor would say, alons-y!

Halloween this year has probably been my most interesting one. So many things were different this time around. I was finally out with friends (or well Albert’s), I went to a Halloween party where there was drinking, and I was a girl. I was a girl for the first time ever this Halloween and the results were….interesting. Guys kept hitting on me thinking I was the real deal. Zack and Katie (Albert’s best friend and girlfriend) came down and together with some of our neighbors from the 4th floor we headed out to a party nearby. By the time we left, everyone had been pre-gaming and Zack was pretty drunk. When we got to the party, the place was packed and begun to stink after a while because someone puked. While there I also had my first taste of alcohol which I will say was alright, but I don’t see what the big deal is really. People started to leave and we met a guy named Tim Jones who said we could go to his house for shots. We got there and stayed for a while, but were kicked out because his roommates wanted to pass out in peace. I suggested we get back to school since everyone of them were pretty much gone, and I didn’t want anything to happen to them, especially Kendall who was falling over quite a bit. Once back at school we all went our separate ways and eventually all found our way back to our respective rooms.

So yeah like I said, Halloween was odd this year but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.

Anyways, later days!

As readers of this site may have already figured out, I always tend to get myself in strange situations. Whether I initiate them myself or I kind of just stumble onto them, they are exciting little tidbits that make my life more exciting and give me material so I can make posts here. Part of the excitement that comes from getting into spontaneous moments comes from the people you meet along the way. Now I’ve met some pretty cool people here like D the crazy good pianist, or Chris who just knows which death metal will brighten up someone’s day, or all the girls of room 10 who constantly fight with each other but in the end will team up to play Rockband. But I think my favorite person here has to be Tosh. She has this cheery attitude that no one seems to be able to resist. She is what I look for in people, someone who can bring others joy so effortlessly. Problem is at the moment I really don’t want anyone, I’m fine by myself. But hey Tosh if you ever read this, you’re pretty awesome.

We stand here facing a precipice, a steep gravel giant that won’t be conquered so easily. The mountain to me concerns ideas that may not be ethical, that may not be wise, that may not be sane. Although I have never seen myself as a rash individual, this current set of ideas throw me of my natural balance. What do you say when the person you are with loves you, but you love others? What do you say when your roommate is alienated from you because of childish antics? What do you say when you hate the yourself so much that you have to create multiple personalities, trying to find one you won’t be ashamed of? What do you say in the face of these ideas? Does one merely persevere and keep going with a smile on his or her’s face…..secretly being crushed by the weight of tons of emotional damage? They must or face further turmoil. They must or their situations will graven dearly and leave them hollow shells of former people. They will face a fate worse than death, they will merely be.

Humans are not meant to simply be they need sustinance, “soul food” if you will, in order to keep alive and thriving. Our culture as of now is a sham, simple skeleton of a the greater meatier thing it could be. Suicide is terrible, it’s the ultimate way to be a sore loser. Like that kid who you’d hate to play board games with because as soon as one thing went against their favor, they would complain and just leave. I hate suicidal people, not because they are selfish in their motives, but because they left the game too early

and so now you’re left with no one to play with.

Today was not a good day.

I guess I should start by saying that hey I really wanted to go to Lovefest. I mean I was looking forward to hanging out with my friends from back home all week. But when today came, they kept pushing the time that they were going to come up later and later. I waited all day for them, just sitting in my room, and I had to call them to learn that they wouldn’t be even coming up here until at least 7pm. By then Lovefest was over and I learned they never had any intentions of going. They had planned on heading over to Castro (AGAIN) the entire time. You wouldn’t believe how angry I was, I mean I was actually angry. For anyone who knows me, that is an extremely hard thing to accomplish. Like I’ve taken verbal abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, but at the most I’ll get frustrated. No, not with this. I was MAD, this was the seconed week in a row they had wanted to go to the castro (to do what? There is nothing there!) plus last weekend I missed out on the opening of CAS because I was thinking of spending the entire day with them. When they finally showed up today, I completely blew them off and walked away from them to spend time with some kids from the 4th floor. I’d had it, they didn’t even apologize for being late or anything. They simply said, “Hey beezy, ready to go?!”. I’m done with people. Honestly you all sicken me, everyone, I’ve yet to meet someone that has a set of morals that they actually stick to. That has to change, or I think I’m going to lose the last ounce of faith I have in humanity. I’m just down.

Sorry about not posting the last couple of days, I kinda was busy. Let me tell you about my weekend:

No Folsom, my friends didn’t get here until about 10pm, which made me a little pissed because I could have gone to CAS with my family. Also I lost my keys to my room for a second so I spent about 20 mins running around the building looking for them. I finally found them in a stairwell of all places….which I hadn’t even gone to that day! My friends once here, and after I found my keys, kidnapped me and took me to Castro St. Now I didn’t know this, but Castro St residents love Folsom. In fact most of the people there had just come from Folsom and were in full attire (by this I mean they were naked with cock rings on). I did get a shirt out this whole night (Escape from New York pizza!), and came back to the dorms with everyone looking quite confused. My two friends had told me they were getting married. That’s right, one lesbian and one gay guy were going to marry each other, just because. I am going to be the best man/maid of honor for them. So I am wearing a suit at the ceremony and a bridesmaid dress during the dance (weird I know). They hope to go through with it this January although I am highly skeptical about the enitre thing. Albert went home over the weekend, and came back with Gatorade! Diandra and I ended up going out, officially but broke it off on Monday because I am still not ready. Something felt way off that day. Oh and my room is now redone so we have more room! I am quite excited.The final thing that I did was figure out what I’m going to be for Halloween. I’m going to be a Tranny, which will be interesting to pull off (I hope I don’t get raped!!). So yeah, that’s my story/ramble about the weekend. Now I’m off to laugh at Albert trying to beat Through Fire and Flames on Guitar Hero.

If I was a raccoon there is no way you’d be able to put me down! I’d be human sized and pliers proof.  Nothing would stop my raccoon rampage! Raaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Also I will take down you, your sleeping bag, your computer, your girlfriend, your trippy t-shirt, your unborn children, your born children, your shoes, your entire family, and your favorite conquistador with my awesome raccooness. I mean I could bite you and give you rabies. Do you really want that? I mean like 2 people die from it a year. That is some crazy shit right there. Maybe when you are old and you need to shave your eye brows you will understand, until then you must stop undermining my plans  to repeatedly rape and Mame everything that moves. suck it